The Fallen Angel Manifesto

Here at BOD, we care about you. We care about the leaf you're smoking, the grains you're drinking and the big fat winners you're hitting across the board. But our responsibilities go beyond those pursuits, and that is why today we're giving you lock, stock, and two smoking barrel shelters for your hard earned gigi. And remember, we do it to it for the children.

GS: Otherwise know as the “The Franchise”, these boys know how to make money. They're good earners. And the fact that they downgraded their own sector means you need to buy now.

BP: Cheaper than the Daisy I rolled off last night. Even if you lop off the entire US operation, this stock is deeply discounted to conservative multiples. And who really care about a bunch of birds and turtles.

AA: Cost cutting measures will begin to bear fruit. Nothing but upside here.

NOK – Two characters: 4G. This company is the best positioned to profit from the move to next gen.

RHI – Will ride the employment wave in 2011. Get in now.

There you have it. Straight from the Oracle of Ostentation, the Sultan of the Sheckle, the great BAMBINO himself. Buy now, sell Heaven.

Johnny On Spot w/ the Applecart

Hooozaaa! America! and Good Day! to the House of BOD. I hope this note finds you all in good health and constitution. Don’t forget on this termination of the month of Julius that
all ceremonial pork loins and buttery figs must be consumed by midnight. Penalties include the docking of afterlife virgins at a rate of one per hour.

Speaking of enlightened despots and post-humus booty, our illustrious President B.O. recently toasted two of his newest friends and scholars. Clearly the teachable moment in all of this is that police brutality and race card playing leads to a seat at the most powerful cocktail hour this side of Boris Yeltsin’s dacha. Although we are not exactly sure what went on during this imbibition session, it is safe to say “Hooray Beer”! (Unless of course you are VP JB, in which case you would opt for the tamer “Hooray Non-Alcoholic Beer!)

All in all, me thinks our Prez deserved a cold one, although he may want to start opting for something a little stronger than 4.2% ABV. After making a clean break from the gate in January, those pesky approval numbers have been sniped at the knees, and Crazy Nancy only seems to be complicating matters. Here are the gains after the first half of the year:

Pablo- $1.66
Cash-$15.00

Midweek WageRama

The week has been a rush - a quick recap for those who did not keep box score:

ASHES CUP - TEST TWO @ LORDS
More cricket. Mr. Kitay and I have just squared off on round two of our fantasy cricket endeavour, with the standings now at:

Kitay: (no fucking clue)
Eskimobar: (completely ass-backwards bewildered)

Hopefully the hosting website has the functionality to clearly convey a final winner; it is, after all, on the interweb, and technology and computers have the ability to do the mathematical calculation equal to that of a 80 x 120 foot abacus.

2009 OPEN CHAMPIONSHIP
Pablo took a bath on this one, dropping two of the three agreed upon props. In hindsight, JMFD's performance may have been unduly augmented by the higher ABV of beer in Europe against the standard content found in American brew. Or it could be that between his platinum hair and razz-a-ma-taz pants he was able to play a little winter rules golf since no one in the gallery could stare directly at him. Of course this does not apply to Ian Poulter, who would stare directly at JMFD's inseam nexus until his eyes combusted.

And he would bust too.

Because he's gay.

And not like that, "Oh, all European men are like that," put off. I mean the gay like when he has consentual sex with other men.

Double or nothing on the outstanding Open take with the Poulter Prop, Mr. Kitay?

INTRADE BETS O' THE WEEK

This website is so fantastic it garners its own write up - which I intend to provide fully at a later date - but I wanted to get two prop takes out there right now:

WEEKEND BOX OFFICE TAKE: G-Force, +30mil

This movie looks like such a blatant offense on the intelligence and sensibilities of the viewing public that it HAS to work, according to my Paul Blart Box Office Theorum:

A movie will excel just as much in the box office as I believe it appears awful, because the overwhealming majority of the viewing public are braindead.

WISE LATINA VOTES: +65

Sotomayor will obtain 65 or more yes votes in her confirmation hearing, mostly from David Cone's lobbying efforts.

Their Name is Mudd

Interesting analysis showing marquee names are not everything.

The Gate, Vol I

On the day of the Cotto-Pacquiao announcement, it may seem like old news to be posting about Mayweather-Marquez. But over here at BOD, the line moves with the smart money and not the flashy headlines. Since the early odds are being sliced and diced by the big books, now is the time to lean on your guy and do some front-running. Here are the winning Principles and Platitudes for September 19th.

The Bookie: Play the macro trends like a fiddle. A fight like this draws out emotional money and the low hanging fruit will be there for the taking. Floyd’s un-retirement coupled with Mexico’s Independence Day means any successful strategy will hinge on when you get in the books. With Marquez sitting at +300, take anything down to +250 while you can and wait for the props to come out before offsetting.

The Noise: Pre-fight is all about 3M (Money Mouth Mayweather). Don’t let the back story affect your moves. Marquez is no joke and his two fights against pound-for-pound king Pacquiao showed he can wear Cinderella’s slipper. 3M will have his hands full with a counterpuncher of equal rank, as well as a weight limit leaving him Koo-Koo for Coco puffs at the training table. Mayweather hasn’t fought this tape since Gatti, and that was with a faster twitch and sprier legs. Marquez has wanted this fight for years and will be treating it as his Everest. 3M sees it as a tune-up.

The Action: Now is the time to take odds on Marquez. If you like Mayweather, keep your money off the table. These fighters are surgeons, not brawlers. The exotics will be anything but, so timing is important. Look for the CompuBox props to give you the most upside.

A Turn for the Berry

A tip of the hat to Monsieur Eskimobar. If it wasn't for a good-natured geriatric and a snappy dresser, those English tossers would have gotten to keep their Claret Jug. Thanks also goes out to JMFD for keeping his shit together this weekend. A portion of the take will be going towards a pair of those pants, I promise.

Now if you'll excuse me, there's bidness to tend to.

2009 Open Championship: B.O.D. Day 1 Rundown

Greetings from Scotchland, bluebloods. One round down in the Open Championships, finding Mr. Kitay and I embroiled in three separate props set up during a clay shooting session earlier this week. Each wager staked equally:

1. United States of America ($ Kit) v. The Rest of the World (Eskimobar)
Winner of the Open, by nationality. Eldrick has been removed from all consideration, partially due to his destruction of the odds on this prop being even, partially due to him having a net worth on par with the GNDP of some smaller countries. In the event that Eldrick wins the Open, tournament champion for the sake of this wager will be the runner up.

After day one, Miguel Angel Jimenez takes his sailor's mouth of a Castillian lisp into sole possesion of first place.

Stupid early outlook: PABLO ESKIMOBAR
Chance of success: 3%!!!

2. Pick-A-Foursome
Cash and I each chose four golfers, winner takes it down if one of his chosen players wins (again, Eldrick aside). To the leaderboard:

If you cannot discern the markings to the left, apologies. I was engaged in my non-court appointed community service at the time, and I allowed one of the children attending the wine tasting to tag the relevant players.

Currently Steve Stricker leads the pace of our hand-picked pack, +2 off the lead. Goosen and Furyk follow +3 off the Spaniard, while Hunter Mahan gets a jump start on his choke clinic he so expertly conducted at Bethpage Black.

Stupid Early Outlook: NO WINNER
Chance of Success: 83%

3. The Man in the Red Circle: Pre-Cut Closest to the Pin
The final stipulation revolves around the score of JMFD over the first 36 holes. Our algorithmically derived predictions:

Kitay: 151
Eskimobar: 156

Currently, JD sits at -2, putting Cash's position Lenny-Dykstra-deep-in-the-money. A day two blow up seems highly unlikely, as orangutan pugilist Boo Weekley has a position on the rail slightly ahead at -3. Look for JD to draft off of Boo for the next couple laps, saving gas to avoid pitting outside of a yellow caution.

Not-so-Stupidly Early Outlook: Cash Kitay
Chance of Success: 97.3%

Look for further comment as these plays develop over the next 54 holes.

ALSO THIS WEEKEND - Round two of the BOD Arthur Ashes Cup Challenge from Lords